Minions

This post is more about Grad-school lifestyle than my studies, per se.

I realized recently that it's incredibly valuable to find friends in grad school, and a specific kind of friend that isn't so easy to stumble upon.

Everybody, as far as I can tell, compartmentalizes their friendships, to some extent. We bond with different people over different pieces of our lives. For example: I have friends among my siblings, and we eat together, and chat for hours, mostly about politics, religion, and child-rearing; I have friends I made in middle-school, and we keep up with each-other's situations and reminisce about our hometown; I make friends at church amongst whom I express my faith; I have associates in my program, professors and fellow students, who not only give me a chance to geek out about my scholarly interests, but who also provide professional contacts and context; My pop-culture-geek side is more difficult to accommodate, but I send out my nerd signals and follow the echo-location. Each compartment has a different level of tolerance for the others. My family accepts my nerddom, but they and my oldest friends are intimidated by my education. My academic associates find both geekery and spirituality anathema. I find that with each group I am forced to withhold parts of myself, and in grad school that can cause serious emotional strain, especially when one aspect of my life is causing incredible amounts of stress that I am subsequently unable to express to a whole, essential section of my society.

One key to my continued emotional stability is that I found a group of friends who transcend one of the biggest barriers. I found some geeky academics. More precisely, I was introduced to them by the only person who can associate with me on three of my four described levels. That she is not my sister is only a short-sighted way of seeing sociality.

I imagine that it's not always possible, but I believe, from my experience, that I'm readiest to deal with stress when I have close friends who understand more than one aspect of my life. Only academics understand our ridiculous life and can give necessary support. Find these people who can straddle the barriers - don't try to force your current friends to cross over. Hiding sides of yourself increases stress.

Oh, and my advisor knows and appreciates that I'm a fangirl.